How Do Photographers Help Camera-Shy Couples Feel Comfortable?

Why "Just Be Natural" Doesn't Work

You've probably heard it before: "Just relax and be natural!" It's the most common advice photographers give—and it's completely useless.

Here's the problem: you can't will yourself to ignore a camera. When someone points a lens at your face and tells you to act natural, your brain does the opposite. You become hyper-aware of every micro-expression. Your smile feels forced. Your shoulders tense up. And then you see the photos and think, "That doesn't look like me."

Sound familiar? You're not alone. About 70% of the couples I work with describe themselves as "camera-shy" or say they "hate having their photo taken." And yet, by the end of our session, most of them tell me it was actually fun.

The difference isn't the camera. It's the approach.

The Secret: Redirection

The most effective technique for helping nervous couples isn't about posing at all—it's about redirection.

Instead of asking you to perform for the camera, a skilled photographer gives you something real to focus on: each other.

This redirection technique works because it shifts your attention. You stop thinking about how you look and start experiencing a moment with your partner. That's when the magic happens.

Why Theater Training Actually Helps

I spent over a decade in professional theater—as an actor, acting coach, and director. I worked at Steppenwolf Theatre Company and won a Jeff Award (Chicago theater's equivalent of a Tony).

What does that have to do with wedding photography?

Everything.

Theater taught me that people reveal their authentic selves when they feel safe and forget they're being watched. Actors don't become great by trying to "look natural"—they become great by genuinely connecting with their scene partner and letting the performance emerge from that connection.

Same principle applies to photography. When I give you a scenario instead of a pose, you're not performing for me. You're connecting with each other. I'm just there to capture what's already real.

"We HATE having our photo taken, but Jeremy made it so easy. He didn't just tell us to 'smile'—he gave us scenarios to act out. We felt like ourselves, not awkward models." — Sarah & Mike, Chicago Winery Wedding

What to Look For in a Photographer (If You're Camera-Shy)

If you're nervous about photos, here's what to prioritize when choosing a photographer:

Look at their candid shots, not just their posed portraits. Anyone can pose a couple against a pretty backdrop. Look for images that capture genuine emotion—laughing, tearing up, lost in a moment together. That tells you they know how to create those moments.

Read reviews for the word "comfortable." When past clients specifically mention feeling at ease, that's a signal the photographer has a method for helping nervous couples.

Ask about their direction style. If they describe their approach using words like "scenario," "prompt," or "connection," they're likely using redirection techniques. If they talk mostly about "posing" and "positioning," that's a different (more rigid) approach.

Trust your gut on the consultation call. Do you feel relaxed talking to them? Do they seem genuinely curious about you as a couple? The energy you feel on that call is likely the energy you'll feel on your wedding day.

You Don't Have to Love Cameras to Love Your Photos

Here's what I tell every nervous couple:

You don't need to become comfortable with cameras. You need to become comfortable with each other—while a camera happens to be nearby.

That's a much easier ask. And when you find a photographer who understands this distinction, your photos stop being something you dread and start being something you'll treasure.

You'll look at the images and finally think: "That actually looks like us."